Month: August 2018

Back on March 7th of this year, I read Proverbs 31 Ministries’ daily devotional entitled ‘Stronger Than the Struggle’ written by Havilah Cunnington.
As Havilah discussed the battlegrounds we often find ourselves fighting on, I couldn’t help but notice these particular words: “Let’s remember we make a conscious choice to partner with truth.” It was as if they jumped off the page (or screen of my phone ? )
While I may not be able to control my circumstances, I can control the way I view them.  While I can’t always control the disordered thoughts from entering my mind, I can choose how I react to them.

I can 1) acknowledge their origination (they are coming from Ed/the Enemy, not from me!), 2) call them out for what they truly are (lies attempting to steal, kill, and destroy) and 3) fight back with what I know to be true. I can choose to take them captive, instead of letting them enslave me.
Partnering with truth in my recovery is a daily act of surrender. I must relinquish control – or the false sense of control the disorder gave me – and whole-heartedly trust in the One who is in control.
This sticky note haphazardly stuck to my computer monitor is not only a reminder to choose truth: it’s a reminder that recovery is process. I can expect Ed’s voice to fluctuate amidst the ebb and flow of daily life, but as long as I consciously choose to align my thoughts with God’s truth, his nagging voice will always be drowned out. Because when we partner with truth, there is no room for his lies. (Praise the Lord for that! ?) Thank you Havilah for speaking truth straight to my soul ?
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 ?

Sometimes Ed likes to rain on my parade.  On the days I least expect it, his voice escalates from a distant whisper to a deafening scream.  Suddenly I am transported back to the days in which his voice was more of a comforting assurance than a toxic enemy. 

  Ed can’t stand rejection.  He can’t stand to see us happy without him, so he must do everything in his power to dampen our dreams and suppress our spirits. When we align our thoughts with a recovery perspective, Ed’s convincing insults suddenly become incredibly powerless. We can choose to succumb to his taunting jeers and fleeting promises, or we can choose to rest assured in the complete and perfect strength of our Savior.  “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Reflecting on an amazing weekend at She Speaks and feeling so incredibly grateful.  Grateful for the Biblical teaching and practical insight to equip me in my writing journey.  Grateful to connect, learn, and grow alongside courageous women bravely responding to the unique calling God has placed on their life.   Grateful for the newfound confidence God has instilled in me to share my story with authenticity, despite the Enemy’s incessant efforts to hush my voice.  I chose the word ‘hope’ on this customized necklace from Able (created by Chelsie! ?) as a beautiful reminder. A reminder that even in the darkest days of my disorder, Jesus extended a hand of abounding hope and grace.  A reminder to fight for my readers when they feel like they can’t fight any longer. A reminder to choose hope and an attitude of expectation, when the Enemy insists my dream will never be realized.
So excited to see what this year brings and already looking forward to She Speaks 2019!